I have decided to make one of the most important changes of my life. I will become happier and healthier. This is going to be the most difficult thing I will do. I NEED TO DO THIS! I have made the decision to lose weight. Now I have made this decision plenty of times before, so what makes this one different? I can't look in the mirror without feeling disgusted with myself. I can't walk up stairs without feeling winded. My knees are in horrible shape. I can't play with my daughter without feeling like I'm going into cardiac arrest.
Ahh my daughter. My number one reason. She is my life. I don't know what I would do without her. I don't want her to be without a mom. I need to be healthier for her. I want to see her grow up. I want to take her to her first day of school. I want to fight with her about boys. I want teach her how to drive and freak out when she hits the gas instead of the brake. I want to see her graduate. I want to see her go to college. I want to see her get married. I want to meet my grand-children. So many things I want but may never happen if I don't get healthy.
I do have another reason for wanting this. I want another baby. I have done my research and know that being over-weight can seriously lower your chance of becoming pregnant and if you do become pregnant there is a greater chance of miscarriage or premature labor. I absolutely will not be able to handle another miscarriage. I blame myself everyday for the first miscarriage. I just know it had to do with my weight. I know these things happen sometimes, but I can't help feel like its my fault.
So now with the help of all my family and friends I begin this journey. I know I have an awesome support system. This is going to be hard, but I don't have a choice anymore but to do this. No more excuses. No more games. I need to push myself. I need my friends and family to push me. Remember to keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I know with the love and support of everyone I can do this! I will do this!
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